So my brother graduated college yesterday, which was awesome! I’m really proud of him, and I know that he has done the very best that he can do, and more. Very excited to see where life takes him in the coming months and years!
Which means that, unknowingly (I’m a bad brother, I know, didn’t even know he was graduating), we both had quite a big day! Why do you ask? Well, yesterday I, finally, made the decision to continue my commitment with Create International, in particular, Create Thailand. Which really means that I intend on returning here next year, and continuing the work that I’ve started.
It was difficult to make this decision, even though, I think, a lot of people thought it was an obvious choice (people on both sides…), but it wasn’t. So why am I staying? The past few weeks this is the question that has plagued me, why am I staying? Why? The answer came in drips of revelation, quite unlike my past decisions, many small things slowly pushed me to this decision. A book here, a prayer and teaching there, the council of people much wiser than myself saturated throughout.
And I’m glad, now that it is over and I can breathe again, that it happened like this. I’m still recovering from the last time God forced His way into my decision making… This time it was different. It was like slowly turning up the dimming in a room you already know. I knew I was coming back, really, if I’m honest, I just couldn’t get to grips with it. I couldn’t accept it, I couldn’t say it aloud. I tried, believe me, I tried, but every time the question was asked, I just couldn’t do it. I lived, breathed, planned, and talked as if I were coming back, but when someone tried to find out any details I’d put in a failsafe. Maybe. Maybe I’m coming back. I might be coming back. I might stay at home? Right?
To give a definitive answer (people like those), I’d say that I have a very strong sense that I’m not finished. I don’t feel at peace leaving. There’s more people who’s lives need God. Isn’t that why anyone ever stays? I feel as if I can do more good here at Create, in a year or two, then I could a lifetime at home. I have been given a chance to change the world, why would anyone ever so no to that? God wants to change the world, He wants to see people saved, He loves us, and He is capable of bringing all He wants to fruition, so why the heck would I not want to be involved? He gives us the world, and I thought twice about taking it?
Anyway, before I make this post unbearably long, I’m very happy to be staying. How will I even get back? I have no idea. Have I got all the details sorted out? No.
But I’m getting there… promise.
Next week I’m teaching at the Visual Arts for Missions School. Pray for me, and for the students (and more than half the base who will be attending…)!
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