I’m done trying.

Carla



Over the course of the last few years I have grown accustom to being in the position of student. I was in the mindset to be a receiver of information, wisdom, ect. In that place of extreme learning I think I deprived myself of something precious. Poising myself to be ready to GIVE information and wisdom. This wasn’t something that I was prepped to do. Or perhaps, I just did not rise to the occasion.

I mean, what did I know?

Well… actually that is a great question. Being a lover of learning? I’m finding I DO know some things!

I’m beginning the process of organizing thoughts, experiences and teachings to give away. That is right. God has prompted me, spoken to me and confirmed that I’m to help with a school. And you guys? It’s an ART school. The very thing I laid down over three years ago now to serve God in another geographical place.

This process of transitioning into SHARING and GIVING AWAY is difficult! I find my ego gets in the way! Me asking myself… “What if I’m not skilled enough? Wise enough? Prepared enough?!?”

Enough? Enough. Enough!

I’m tired of “trying” to be “enough” and also of my self doubt.

With humility I’m going for it. 

I’m going to PREPARE as much as I can and give away ALL the art stuff I know and God things I’ve learned. 

Once I thought the creative process was about the climatic moment of artistic fulfillment. You know, going through the creative process solely for the great work of art at the end. The people, the pain along the journey were sometimes good or bad. However, those people and those things that happen help shape us.

Yes, the finished work is absolutely a part of the creative process journey! However, I’m finding the creative journey in its ENTIRETY is vital.  

Editing video footage into a comprehensive story, crafting words into a stimulating script or even assembling an engaging keynote presentation for a teaching– these can ALL be STRESSFUL. I learn so much through the entire creation of these things. Lately I’m finding the very thing that is helping me move forward is having a clear vision of my goal. I’m then able to ‘reverse-orchestrate’ that process. In knowing the goal, I can break down what needs to happen in achievable steps all working together towards accomplishment.  

TRUST yourself. 
Do the work.
Keep going for it ESPECIALLY through times of uncertainty. 


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