Time and memories feel slippery to me. Like sand or water escaping cupped hands and clenched fingers. I’m not an equal opportunity memory grabber though. I am quite selective about the moments I want to keep– I have no desire to hang on to them all! I am guilty of wishing away some (being stuck in traffic) and desperately trying to will other moments to ssstttrrrettccchhh out (evenings with my mom in Tennessee).
Maybe you think of about your memories or maybe you don’t. My fascination with time and memories begins with a bit of heartache. See, in 2001 my family, consisting of my mom and two sisters, moved from North Dakota to Tennessee. That winter, on Christmas eve day, I was in a truly terrible car accident. The kind of tragic where lives are lost and questions about survival are raised. I was sitting behind the driver, a good friend of mine, and the abrupt maneuvers of the vehicle as my friend desperately tried to avoid disaster caused my head to slam against one of the windows. The force with which my head made contact with the inside of the truck caused head trauma. Have you seen Fifty First Dates? A car accident leaves Drew Barrymore with a short term memory disorder that prevents her from forming new memories. This disorder, for Barrymore, is a springboard into a unique and sweet love story. I was like that for for the month following the accident. Well, minus the love story anyway.
Last night my mom and I were talking. The accident came up and she told me how frightening it was to wonder about my future. She told me that no matter what the topic was, promptly following conversations I would forget what was talked about. Days were erased. Doctors assured my mom that this was normal and thankfully with time my memory did improve. I think this may be in part why I’m so interested in the documentation and quantification of life. I write (nearly) daily in my journal. Making to do lists and summaries are mart of my everyday. I also employ video and photography to capture time.
I am so excited about returning to Thailand. God has called me there. Please understand my heart here, because there is an and. And, this is also sobering. I will be there until God calls me somewhere else. I miss my family and friends in the USA tremendously. My heart has pieces sprinkled all over the world. So I write in my journal about the memories we make, so I can flip back to them. I am also taking photographs and shooting video. Digital capture is me upping my game. So, if sand were memories and we all know how hard it is to carry sand in cupped hands, right? Well, photography and video is me whipping out my yellow plastic shovel with its matching green bucket and taking some of that sand away with me! Okay, so it isn’t the same as standing on the beach with its gorgeous glittering sunsets and cool refreshing breezes making my hair blow into my face. But, that bucket of sand is like a digital imprint that I can look at again and again. I save them on my hard drive and tuck them in my heart.